.....It hurt so much to think and feel that my biggest challenge would be to openly tell you about me and Islam, about me and my faith, about me and my happiness. I know that you both want the best for me, you want me to be happy and you want me to be responsible, and you want me to be independent and make the RIGHT decisions. I have done the right decision, and I made it all by myself, and I read about Islam all by myself, I discovered Islam in me all by myself, IT WAS ME who made every decision from the point were I began in the Islamic interest to the point where I am now. I can’t lie to you and tell you I had no influences because how else would I have been influenced by wanting to know more about Islam? Well from observing other people. How do we know as humans whether eating a chocolate cake taste good or not? We taste it, we try others to compare and then we make a final decision and if we like it we continue to eat if we don’t then we disregard it.
Mami and Papi, I know I might seem weak sometimes in certain situations, and
I know I display signs of vulnerability , but converting into Islam was decided by me, its hard and it hurts to think that all this studying, research of Islam and me converting has been credited to someone else, but at the end of the day the only one that knows the truth is God and it is to him that I will be standing in front of on the day of Judgment, and it is him that knows everything. It is stated in the Quran that all the prophets were messengers of God, they all came to spread the news and religion of God, but that they all came in their own time, and that Mohammad ( pbuh) was the last messenger of God.
I know my word is hard to believe after the incidents these past two days, but there is nothing more that I can do to prove to both of you when it comes to the decisions that I made about Islam.
And most importantly I want you both to understand that it is virtually impossible to explain ALL of my reasoning behind my belief in Islam, this email is not even 1 /100 th of it all, I have spent hours and hours and hours speaking to others about my feeling towards Islam, and I wish and pray to Allah that one day I will be able to express everything I feel about Islam with both of you.
I still remain to be the daughter that you had almost 21 years ago, it has not changed the way I feel about you, you still are the most important people in my life, I love you both more than anything, I just have a different belief and its one which will bring you no shame, it will not physically hurt you, and I will not patronize our relationship. I love you both very much and I only pray for the best,
Carolina Amirah DeFonseca