Monday, January 28, 2013

AUR MAIN MARR GAYA......ZINDAGI SE 40we TAK KA SAFAR (PART -1)






Bismillahirrahmanirraheem



AUR MAIN MARR GAYA......!



Maqam e ibrat hai un logon ke liye jo allah aur uske rasool nabi e akram sallalaho alaihi wasallam ke ahlaamaat ko   na sirf past pasht daalte hain balke ulta mazaaq udhaate hain aur aakhirat ki zindagi unhe qata'an yaad nahin, agar isi haalat me unhe maut  ne ghera toh allah na kare ke kisi ka anjaam is shakhs jaisa ho......


Mera bachpan naadaanion me ghuzar gaya, jabse hosh sambhaala, apne badon ki tarah duniya ki taraf bhaagta raha, mujhe gharz daulat se thi, chaahe halaal tareeqe se aaye ya haraam, soodi len den, cricket matches me shartein, Prize bond, lottery aur rishwat ki kamaayi ne dono me mujhe crorepati bana diya,

itni daulat ikatthi ki ke mujhe andaaza nahin, har qism ka naya fashion mere ghar me aata, hi fi T.v, dher saari filmen, dish, gharz aisi koi nahoosht na thi jo mere ghar me maujood na ho,

raat ko family ke saath kamse kam Ek film dekh kar sona har roz ka mamool tha,

jab koi mahmaan ghar aata main bade fakhr se chhoti beti ko awaaz deta,

"Beti ! Zara uncle ko aur Aunty ko dance toh karke dikhaao "


dusre bacche bhi dramo aur filmon ki mukhtalif kirdaaron ki naqalen utaarne me bade maahir they,

mukhtalif film ke Dialogue unko khoob yaad they, jhoom jhoom kar gaane sunaate aur acchi kaarkirdgi par inaam paate....


Ghar me gate par numaaya likha tha

" haaza min fazli rabbi"

aksar mere zehan me aata ke Shaitaan mere baare me kya sochta hoga ke daulat ikatthi karne ke saare gur maine sikhaaye , phir usi kamaayi se itna aaalishaan ghar bana aur ab itne be'wafa nikle ke us par likhwa diya

" haaza min fazli rabbi"


intezaamiya se theek thaak maraasim ki wajah se koi mujhe poochne waala na tha, mera shumaar shaher ke chand ek raeeson me hota,

itni daulat hone ke ba'wajood saari umar mujhe hajj ki sa'aadat naseeb na ho Saki, lekin aksar log mujhe Sahab kah kar pukaarte, mere yahan aksar majma laga rahta, oonchi aawaaz me ek dusre ko gaaliyan dena toh aam maamool tha, aur is shor sharaabe se poora mohalla tang tha, khususan agar pados me koi bimaar hota, magar kisi ko mere khilaaf baat karne ki jurraat na thi,

Mohalle ki masjid me mera aana jaana bas Eid ke roz hi tha,


duniyaawi baatein karne me main thakta nahin tha, meri zabaan kainchi ki tarah chalti,

magar bad'qismati se meri zabaan allah aur uske rasool nabi e akram sallalaho alaihi wasallam ke zikr karne ke maamle me bilkul goongi thi,

kabhi kisi daadhi waale se saamna hota toh na jaane kyon tabiyat machalne lagti, khoob bahas mubaahasa hota aur aksar baatonme mere dalail kuch is qism ke hote


NAMAZ

"soofi sahab ye toh faarigh logon ka kaam hai, abhi toh badi umar padi hai,a bhi taange saath de rahi hain, jab taangen kaam karna band ho jaayengi phir Masjid aur tasbeeh hi rah jaayegi,"


ROZA


" roze toh rakhen ghareeb, jinke paas khaane ko kuch nahin, ham toh khaate peete log hain"


ZAKAAT


"ye toh tax ki ek Qism hai, aur wah ham huqumat ko de rahen hain"


DAADHI


" Hazrat ji ! Ye koi umar hai daadhi rakhne ki ? Kyon shaadi ki market me mera rate dawn kar rahe ho, mujhe abhi chacha ji ,baba ji nahin kahlawana"


PARDAH



" pardah toh dil ka hota hai, tum logon ki niyyat me futoor hota hai"


SADQAH


" allah chaahta toh ghareebon ko khud khila deta, jinhe allah na de unhen ham kyon den ??"


AAKHIRAT


"Chhodo ji ! Ye sab maulwion ki ghadi hui baatein hain, khwaah ma khwaah daraate rahte ho, wah jahan kisne dekha hai,

haan ! Agar aisa koi chakkar hua toh chunke mujhe yahan bahut kuch mila hua hai, aage jaakar bhi mere paas bahut kuch hoga, phir kya mujhe koi akele marna hai, jahan sabhi honge, wahan main bhi chala jaunga, 4 din ki zindagi Hai, khoob ayyashi ke saath guzaaro "


Waqt ghuzarta gaya, La'parwaahi din ba din badhti gayi,

ek din achaanak mere wajood ne kaam karna chhod diya,

ek baar aisi haalat ho gayi ke sirf ek ghilaas paani maangne ke liye mujhe poore jism ki quwwat sarf karna padi,

agle hi lamhe doctaron ki poori team mere gird maujood thi, mere kaano me awaaz padi ke dil ka shadeed daura hai, Bas dua kijiye !

Ye sunte hi mujh par kya ghuzri, ye main hi jaanta hoon,

mere allah us waqt mujhe pata chala ke main kitni Baqwaas kiya karta tha ke Mauseeqi (music) rooh ki ghiza hai aur gaane bajaane se dil ko sukoon milta hai,

aaj toh mujhe us sukoon ki bahut zaroorat thi, aaj mera dil gaane sunne ko kyon nahin chaah raha ????

Mujhe shaher ke ek bade hospital ke ek air conditioned kamre me laakar lita diya gaya, main bed par pada chhat (roof) ko dekh raha tha,

hairaani ki baat hai ke us waqt chhat ek bahut badi Screen thi,Aur uspar meri ghinauni zindagi ki poori film chal rahi thi, chhote bade gunaah sab saaf nazar aa rahe they

Aah ! Kaisi ajeeb film thi ???

Main gunaah karna toh darwaaze band kar leta ke koi dekh na le,

Afsos ! Ye na socha ke ek zaat aisi bhi hai  jo meri ek ek harqat dekh rahi hai, meri bad'bakhti ke farsh waalon se mujhe itni sharm aati rahi aur Arsh waale se mujhe kabhi sharm na aayi

Aah ! Kitna be'sharm tha main,

Us waqt mujhe ehsaas hua ke,

" aiy bad'bakht insaan ! Allah taala ki hasti kis qadr saabir hai ke teri musalsal bad'aamaalion aur siyaah kaariyon apr us zaat ne kitna sabr kiya aur tu aisa zaalim tha ke itni mohlat diye jaane ke ba'wajood apni jaan par zulm karta raha "


Apni isi bhayaanak film me uljha hua tha ke mujhe mahsoos hua ke jaise mere gird ' LA ILAAHA ILLALLAH '  ka wird ho raha hai, phir achaanak qalime ke wird me tezi aa gayi,

hairat hai ! Jab main gaane sunta toh Be'akhtiyaar meri zabaan harqat karti, saath saath main bhi gungunaata tha, magar aaj ek hi jumle ka wird ho raha tha, magar badi koshish ke ba'wajood meri zabaan se ek lafz jaari na hosaka.....


Mujhe mahsoos hua ki jaise mujhe ubalti hui deig me daal diya gaya ho, jaise talwaar se mere tukde karna shuru kar diye gaye hon, jaise zinda bakri ki khaal utaari ja rahi ho,, jaise belne me ganne ke saath mujhe bhi daal diya gaya ho, jaise mere jism ke chappe chappe par drill machine daal diya gaya ho, jaise rail ki patri par mera sar rakh kar uper train ghuzaar di ho, jaise zinda chidiya ko aag par bhoona ja raha ho, jaise ek kaante daar tahni ko mere andar daakhil karke ek dum baahir kheench liya gaya ho,

Allah ki qasam ! Agar maut ki is talkhi ka jaanwaron ko pata chal jaata toh duniya waalon ! Koi tandrust jaanwar tumhe khaane ko na milta...


Main bahut chillaaya, bahut waawela kiya, allah ko waasta de Kar mutmain karta raha ke aaj chhod do, main bahut nek ho jaunga, aindah gunaah ke qareeb bhi na phatkunga, nahin chhodunga aajse namaz, nahin sunoonga aaj se gaane, nahin dekhunga filmen

Haaye mere allah ! Haaye maa ! Kash toone mujhe jana hi na hota, kya ho gaya hai mujhe, aaj toh mera maal bhi mere kaam na aa raha hai, kahan marr gaye kaarinde, kahan marr gaye taallukaat, kahan gaya mobile par music ka baar baar bajna ???

Achaanak malikul maut ki dahshatnaak awaaz mere kaanon tak pahunchi, jisne rahi sahih kasar bhi nikaal di

" Nikal aiy khabees rooh ! Apne khabees badan se nikal ! Aaj tu bahut qaabil e muzammat hai, kholte hue paani, peep, zaqoom aur tarah tarah ke azaabon ki tujhe khush'khabri ho"

uff mere allah !kya har badkaar ki rooh aise hi nikalti hai ??

Us waqt main itni taqleef mahsoos kar raha tha ke jaise kisi ne baareek sa kapda kaante'daar tahniyon par daal kar zor se apni taraf Kheencha ho, is tarah mera saara badan taar taar ho gaya, pahle paaon thande hue, phir pindalian aur aahista aahista poora badan thanda ho gaya.......

AUR MAIN MARR GAYA !


Malik ul maut ne meri rooh kheench kar nikaali (jaise garam salaakh, geeli Oven me rakh kar kheench i gayi ho), usi waqt aasmaan se kaale chehre waale farishtey utre, unhone palak jhapakne me meri rooh ko pakda aur ek gande se taat me lapet diya jo unke paas pahle se maujood tha,

ek waqt tha ke main ghar se bahtareen suit aur aala Qism ki khushboo lagakar nikalta aur jis gali se ghuzarta, pata chalta ke falan sahab ghuzar rahen hain,

magar aaj mujhse is qadr badboo aa rahi thi jaise kai jaanwaron ki laashen kisi jagah ikatthi padi hon,

farishtey meri rooh ko lekar aasmaan ki taraf chadhna shuru ho gaye, wah farishton ki jis jamaat ke paas se ghuzarte

wah poochte ye khabees rooh kis ki hai ???

Wah kahte-" falan bin falan ki "


Bahut bure tareeqe se mera naam bata rahe they, jis taraf se ghuzar hua anginat farishton ki awaazein mere kaanon me goonj rahin thi, laanat ho , laanat ho, laanat ho,


aasmaan e duniya par pahunch kar farishton ne darwaazah kholne ke liye kaha, magar darwaaza na khola gaya

awaaz aayi -" is qism ke logon ke liye aasmaan ke darwaaze nahin khole jaate aur na hi is qism ke log jannat me daakhil honge, inka jannat me jaana itna hi muhaal hai jitna sui ke naake me oont ka daakhil hona"


Phir meri rooh neeche phenk di gayi...


Idhar jama masjid ke bade bade speakaron se mere janaaze ka elaan ho raha tha,

wah masjid jiske baare me pahle bata chuka hoon ke saari umar mujhe kam hi daakhila naseeb hua,

magar na jaane kyon aaj ajeeb qism ke taareefi kalimaat ke saath mere janaaze ka baar baar elaan ho raha tha aur har martaba mujhe haaji sahab kah kar pukaara gaya,

zindagi me jab kisi ke marne ka elaan hota Toh main hanste hue kahata

" lo ji ! Aaj ek aur sahab out ho gaye"

lekin ye baat mere waham wa ghumaan me bhi na thi ke usi speaker par bhi mere janaaze ka elaan hoga....


Meri aankhen band kar di gayin, aur jabdon par kapda baandh diya gaya,

meri bad'qismati ke rote rote kuch ne maatam karna shuru kar diya aur kuch ne baal nochne shuru kar diye magar baad me azaab mujhe bhugatna pada,


isi dauraan asar ki azaan ho gayi, ghar me auton ka hujoom aur baaher mardon ka,

lekin afsos ! Shayed hi kisi ne namaz padhi ho, maine cheekh kar kaha

"aiy ghaafilon ! Mujhe chhodo main toh apne anjam ko pahunch chuka, tum apni fikr karo, namaz ka waqt ja raha hai, lekin itni shor sharaabe me meri kaun sunta ???"

meri laash ke gird ghar'waalon aur rishte'daron ka ek hujoom tha,

mera ek haath chhoti beti ne aur dusra haath badi ne apne apne gaalon par laga rakha tha, paaon ko beton ne apne baazuon me jakda hua tha , meri biwi baar baar mere chehre ki taraf dekh rahi thi, meri maa mere chehre par haath fer rahi thi, aakhiri martaba meri maa ne mere maathe ko chooma aur phir ek dum ghama ghahmi si ho gayi, koi kafan khareedne ke liye kah raha tha, toh koi qabr khodne ke liye, koi light ka bando'bast karne aur koi ghusl dene waale ko bulaane ke liye...


Ghusl dene ke liye masjid se molvi sahab ko laaya gaya, unhone mujhe ek takhte par litaakar aahista aahista mere pet ko dabaana shuru kiya taake koi gandagi wagerah ho toh nikal jaaye

phir unhone apne haath par kapde ka lifaafa baandh kar ghusl ki niyyat ki aur meri sharm'gaah dhoyi , nijaasat saaf ki, phir haath se lifaafa utaar kar mujhe wuzu karaaya aur mere jism par paani daala, ooper se shuru kiya aur neeche ko le gaye, teen baar aisa kiya

aur ye wahi molwi sahab they jinka main zindagi me aksar mazaaq udaaya karta tha, aur kabhi apne qareeb nahin phatakne Diya, magar aaj wahi mere kaam aa rahe they,


mere ghar waalon ne kafan ke taur par reshmi kadhaayi waala libaas mujhe pahna diya aur phir mujh bad'naseeb par intehaayi keemti parfume ka bharpoor chhid'kaao kiya gaya ke un Aqal ke andhon ko kiya pata ke abhi mere saath kya beeti hai ???

Agar main bataane ke qaabil hota ke farishton ne mere saath kiya sulook kiya, toh allah ki kasam ! Sab meri mayyit ko chhodkar bhaag jaate aur apni apni fikr me lag jaate,

isi dauraan mera chhota beta bhaag kar ek photographer ko le aaya jo badi furti se mere ird gird ki tasweeren kheench raha tha,

phir vedio waale aa gaye, unhe dekh kar main samjh gaya ke mujhe reshmi libaas kyon pahnaaya gaya, log apni apni film banwaane ke liye andaz badal badal kar meri chaar'paayi ke gird ghoom rahe they....


Program ke mutaabik mere janaaze ka waqt ho gaya, awaazein aana shuru ho gayin

" deir ho rahi hai ji"


janaaza uthaane  Ki der thi ki aurton ki cheekhon ki awaaz se saara muhalla hilkar rah gaya, mere biwi bacche chaar'paayi se lipat gaye, badi mushkil se mujhe baaher nikaala gaya,

4 aadmiyon me meri chaar'paayo ko kandho par utha liya, sadak par pahunche toh saare dukaandaar khade hokar afsos ka izhaar karne lage, kuch log aage traffic control kar rahe they,

logon ki kadamon ki chaap se maine andaaza lagaaya ke laakhon ka majma hai,

afsos ! Kisi muttaqi, parhezgaar, tahajjud guzaar, ghareeb aadmi ka janaaza hota toh 50 aadmi ikkatthe na hote,


janaza gaah me ajeeb manzar tha, kuch log mere wahan pahunchne se pahle hi maujood they, jo siyaasi aur kaaro baari guppen laga rahe they

awaaz aayi

" sab aa gaye hain ji"

safen durust ki gayin,

itne me mere bade bete ne rasm poori karne ke liye aahista se awaaz nikaali, jo shayed pahli saf waale bhi  theek se na sun saken hon,

"bhaiyyon ! Agar kisi ka qarz mere baap ke  Zimme ho toh wah baad me mujhse raabta kar sakta hai,"


agar imam sahab ko mere qarz ke mutaallik ilm hota toh mujhe yaqeen hai ke wah meri namaz e janaza padhaane se inkaar kar dete

imam sahab ne allahu'akbar kaha hi tha ke ek shakhs ki zordaar awaaz aayi

"thahro ji !kuch log aur aa gaye hain"

baher'haal imam sahab ne haath baandh liye,

afsos ! Itne bade majme me chand ek honge jinhe namaz e janaza aati ho, warna is maamle me sabhi mere bhai nazar aa rahe they aur maare sharm ke daayen baayen nazarein ghuma rahe they, kuch saamne lage bade se board ko ghoor rahe they jaise kuch padhne ki koshish kar rahe hon,

4 takbeer kah kar salaam pher liya gaya, aur mere in bhaiyyon ki jaan me jaan aayi,

chunke har mayyit ke saath main bhi aisa hi karta tha, aaj mere saath bhi wahi sulook hua,

mere janaaze me bahut si aisi hastiyan maujood thi ke agar mere saath unki bhi namaz e janaza padha di jaati toh Bahtar tha.....


to be continued........